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[ Don steps out relunctantly, carrying a bag of groceries ] Jim Lange: Well, Don, I guess you’re just rarin’ to go! He’s an ordinary man who goes out to pick up a few groceries for his wife. [ slow pan across the bachelorettes ] Bachelorette #1, a sagging, burned-out boozehound; or Bachelorette #2, a bizarre deviant with a talent for torture; or Bachelorette #3, a woman-child whose mind swims with wisps of a life once pathetic… Don Johnson: [ looking at the card in his hand ] Do I — do I have to read this? Don Johnson: You don’t understand — I-I love my wife. Don Johnson: Alright, uh — [ reading the card ] “Bachelorette #1: If I were an ice cream cone…
[ she nuzzles against Don ] Well, I hope you both like to DANCE, because you’re gonna boogie ’til you DROP to the disco beat of Jerry Kravat’s Disco Orchestra in the revolving restaurant high atop the Holiday Inn in lovely Bakersfield, California! 79r: Bob Newhart / The Amazing Ryhthm Aces, Bruce Cockburn The Dating Zone Jim Lange….. And Bachelorette #3 is the Mata Hari of the group — we don’t know where she’s from, and she doesn’t know where she’s from; her hobbies are staring and trying to milk animals that don’t give milk; her favorite vegetable is herself, just kidding! Now, it’s time to meet the lucky guy who gets to score with one of these luscious lovelies — and I don’t mean Poise! “The Dating Zone.” [ dissolve to title card ] [ dissolve back to game show set ] Jim Lange: Alright, Don “Juan” Johnson!